You may move house, but we will find you. You may leave the country or be sent to jail... but we will continue to send you letters. It's for a FREE PRIZE DRAW! Please note: You may ALREADY have won!!

We are all-powerful. You can never escape. Our nefarious tentacles spread across the globe. When you were twelve, and your pet rabbit Timmy died, who do you think was behind it? God? Nope...never leave it to was us. And remember how that girl you kissed in that club never returned your phone calls...that was also us. Don't mess with us.

Just fill out the form and send off the subscription and no-one will get harmed.

JFK? That was us. If he had played fair with us, he would be alive now, and miss ex-Bouvier would never have married the Greek.

Princess Di? That was us too. All we ask is that you send off the envelope. Remember: You MAY already have won...