Oh, but I have been having some strange dreams recently....

These are not real albums. Don't go into shops and ask for them. You will only annoy people. These are albums that may one day be made. But not yet.

Ah, The Smiths. Sadly taken far too seriously by adolescents, who then revisit the albums ten years later and discover the humour. Avoid anyone who actively tries to look like Morrissey. This includes Morrissey

Everyone likes instructions. They tell us what to do. Without instructions man would still be in the trees, and the apes would be getting restless. Who can resist instructions read by celebrities? Not me.

I dislike motorways. I get car sick.

This will happen. She will never give up, never stop... she will do an opera album, a hip hop album, a rock album...

He seems like a nice man, but I do wish he'd stop trying to shock people by releasing tired old cover versions of 80's classics.

Our price: £14.99

Availability: I'm so so sorry, it just isn't happening. It's not you...it's me.

Audio CD
Number of Discs: 19
Track Listings

disc 1
1. man falls asleep on bus
2. squirrel in love
3. Tina Turner - Simply the Best
4. see 7 down
5. kebab shop lament
6. parrot face
7. inkpot
8. egg-fried rice
9. Lisbon
10. the geese fly at midnight
11. chipped enamel
12. easy on the mayo
13. 5'4" - the height of irrelevance
14. string
15. Cockney scumbag
16. glue
17. Michael Schumacher blues
18. the end of innocence

 

disc 2
1. I love you Porky
2. wind
3. rain
4. my old man killed that kid
5. damp towel
6. Gerald
7. see 4 across
8. let's all go to Windsor
9. melody-free din
10. grass
11. ship in a bottle
12. have you ever been to a harvester?
13. Glenys Kinnock
14. Pi
15. boy sits on train, reading about DIY
16. bluetac convention
17. who dares wins
18. jazz portrait of my puppy

Customer Reviews: 3/5, 14 July 2002

Reviewer: Crabby Breadstick (crabbybreadstick@hotmail.com)

I've bought many pointless albums before, but this is the best. It rocks. My mum tells me that I'm bad, but I don't think I'm bad. She hits me and tells me to be quiet because I'm disturbing her when she's watching Newsround. I don't think it's fair. Mandy goes out and does what she wants, but mum doesn't hit her. This is a good album to listen to in the car, but it is a good album anyway, even if you don't have a car or cannot drive because your legs are too short.