Imagine a world without France... Is it possible?
For centuries scholars have pondered the problem of France - trying
to balance their hatred of France with their natural reluctance to destroy
a whole country and all of its inhabitants.
In recent years the problem has been resolved:
By smashing their heads repeatedly against hard, gravelly surfaces,
the scholars discovered that the more pain that they were in, the less
they cared about the moral implications of destroying France. So - blood
pouring from their gashed foreheads - the great leaders of the world
organised for France to be removed.
Obviously, there was global public
anger at this move, with thousands of demonstrations organised all across
the world.... Oh... who am I kidding? Of course there wasn't. Everyone
merely turned a blind eye as France was lowered beneath the ocean where
it flourished (admittedly free of life) as a modern-day Atlantis.
Au Revoir, Monsieur Zidane. A Bientot
Mademoiselle Bardot. Goodbye, Mr Pommes Frites.