Sometimes life hits you in the face.

Like a small bedside lamp slowly
smacking you on the head.

See below:

(screw in bulb or bayonet?)

Hmmm...he didn't seem to enjoy that.

In the beginning, God said "Let there be light!", but he wasn't very specific about the kind of light he wanted.

Did he was bulbs? Floodlights? Strip lighting? Ugh... no one likes strip lighting. Except strippers, I suppose. No one really knows what God likes. He is not clear about such issues.

However, we can quite safely speculate what God does NOT like. Because some things are so unloveable, that even God must dislike them. I am sure that God regrets creating situationism and bad conceptual artists. And I'm not 100% sure that he's pleased that he created Wembley. Or Neasden. Or me.

Conceptual artists, eh? I can only shrug as to why God created them. Maybe it was a test that went wrong. I suppose conceptual artists have some value, but that doesn't mean they all have to wear asymetrical clothing, have wonky fringes, live in east London and be awful inverted snobs.

Remember: being an artist doesn't make you better than other people, although it does mean you're more likely to be able to get away with a beard (if male) or a squint (if female).