Where in London do you live, and why?
Gudgeon Hill. It's near Holborn. I live in a quiet mews that can only be accessed through a lake. It's very quiet. And wet.

How long have you lived there?
About 18 months. Before that I lived with my parents. But one day I got lost, and fell into a lake. There I discovered the land of Gudgeon.

What advice would you give to a tourist?
Stay at home. Love your family. Stop running away.

What is your earliest London memory?
Waking up in a tiny pod of thin membranes. Then the geese pecking at my soft, soft skin.

Who is in your secret address book?
I can't tell you. It is a secret. It is a very special person though...

What have been your most memorable London meals?
I recently had a marvellous meal at Nobu. And I've head terrific things about the Connaught Rooms. I'm a big fan of Gordon Ramsey. I won't eat any food unless it is cooked by a celebrity.

Which is your favourite: Cromwell's Madhouse or Mr Byrite?
I picked up a fantastic cagoul in Mr Byrite's on Oxford Street. A tourist had dropped it.

What are your favourite home comforts?
I like to have locks on every door. I like to be able to hermetically seal myself into a tiny space, so no dust or germs can penetrate.

What are your extravagances?
Horses, horses, horses. I simply adore horses.

What would you do if you were Mayor for the day?
Sleep with the Mayor's wife. And then divorce her. And give away all my money. I'd like to screw the Mayor's life up quite badly. I enjoy a chilled glass of Schadenfreude.

What is your life philosophy?
I don't know. I'm only a child.

What was the last book you bought?
I read all the Harry Potter books. My mum bought them for herself but I ended up reading them. A pleasing hodgepodge of popular mythology. Formulaic - but enjoyable.

Do you have a local pub?
The Gudgeon Arms. It's a proper spit and sawdust place. I hate it.

What was the last CD you bought?
Something by Fela Kuti. I love fusion. London is such a vibrant, cosmopolitan city. I didn't understand the CD, but I play it anyway.

What would you put on the Trafalgar Square plinth?
A dead person. A real one.

What was the last play you saw in London and did you enjoy it?
I don't go to the theatre. It's a dead art.

Where were the last three places you went on holiday?
Soweto, Sardinia and Southampton. All great cities, in different ways.