And why not? 

TRAINS ARE BAD ARE BAD ARE BAD

An actual tube map

Bah. Humbug.

The British railway system is a homage to suffering and pain. It is designed to cause maximum discomfort to everyone who has ever lived (even if they died before trains were invented). There have been many moments on the London Underground where I could hear God laughing at me. It is a low, coughing noise like churning wheels.

If you count as the letters used in all the names of the stations on the London Undergound, you get 666. The number of the Beast. This isn't actually true, but I think I've made my point.

I always feel like randomly apologising to tourists I see on trains - nothing in their homelands could have prepared them for this overpriced hell.

The tube map was designed in 1931 by Harry Beck, a draughtsman from North Finchley. I felt that in needed updating to reflect the current state of the tube.

I apologise for any delay.